Redefining Success as a Working Mom: How I Found More Joy

For the longest time, I believed I could, and should, have it all.

A thriving career. A perfectly clean home. Homemade, organic meals. Meaningful time with my child. Date nights with my husband. A well-balanced social life. Personal hobbies. Self-care.

The list went on and on.

But trying to “have it all” didn’t make me feel empowered. It made me feel exhausted. Instead of thriving, I was stretched thin, constantly feeling like I was falling short in every area of my life.

Something had to change. I realized I needed to start redefining success as a working mom.

And when I finally stopped chasing the illusion of having it all and instead focused on what truly mattered, I found something better: joy in motherhood.

Here’s how shifting my mindset transformed my life.

The Myth of “Having It All” and Redefining Success as a Working Mom

We hear it everywhere: You can have it all!

Social media is filled with picture-perfect moms who seem to have mastered the art of balancing everything flawlessly. They run successful businesses, maintain spotless homes, cook elaborate meals, stay fit, and still have time for deep self-care routines.

But what we don’t see?

• The behind-the-scenes exhaustion.
• The late nights and early mornings.
• The hidden support systems (nannies, housekeepers, family help).
• The sacrifices being made elsewhere.

The truth is, something always gives.

When I tried to juggle everything, I realized I wasn’t truly present for anything. I was there with my child, but my mind was on work. While working, I felt guilty for not spending time with my child. My focus was on doing everything, yet I wasn’t enjoying anything.

It wasn’t until I asked myself “What do I actually want?” that everything changed.

Redefining Success as a Mom

At some point, I had to admit:

• I didn’t want to hustle 24/7.
• I didn’t want to be in a constant rush.
• I didn’t want to spend my days checking endless to-do lists.

What I did want?

• To be present for my child.
• To feel peaceful instead of constantly stressed.
• To create a simple, meaningful life.

So instead of trying to have it all, I decided to focus on what mattered most to me.

And that looked like:

When I stopped chasing an unrealistic version of success, I finally started enjoying my life.

I learned that redefining success as a working mom didn’t mean giving up on my goals. It meant aligning them with the life I actually wanted.

The Power of Saying No

One of the biggest shifts I made? Saying no.

• 🚫 No to overcommitting myself.
• 🚫 No to unrealistic expectations.
• 🚫 No to things that drained my energy.

Instead of trying to fit everything in, I started asking myself: Does this truly align with the life I want?

• If an opportunity took too much time away from my family? No.
• If a task didn’t actually need to be done? No.
• If a social event felt like an obligation instead of a joy? No.

The more I simplified, the lighter I felt. And the more time and energy I had for the things that truly mattered.

Embracing Imperfect Motherhood

I used to feel guilty when I didn’t check every box on my ideal mom checklist.

But here’s what I’ve learned:

• My child doesn’t need a perfect mom. He needs me.
• My worth isn’t measured by productivity. It’s in who I am, not just what I do.
• Motherhood is meant to raise a human being, and that’s hard. But it can be joyful as well.

I also learned that the “slow movement” wasn’t the answer. Having slow mornings, for example, left me rushing by the end of the day, feeling more stressed and anxious. But strict schedules didn’t work either. No matter how well I planned, I couldn’t keep up, and every missed task felt like a failure.

What did work then?

• Loosely time-blocking my day.
• Simplifying my routine.
• Really prioritizing what is necessary.

Because I realized something: A lot of things seem necessary, but they are not.

I choose playing on the floor over stressing about clean clothes.

I choose presence over just managing it.

And for the first time, I feel like I’m truly living motherhood, not just trying to keep up with it.

If You’re Feeling Overwhelmed, Here’s My Advice

If you’re in the season of trying to “have it all” and feeling stretched thin, here’s what I wish someone had told me sooner:

And here’s a big one: The concept of perfect balance is an illusion.

There’s no such thing as a perfect balance between work, motherhood, self-care, and everything else.

And that’s why you have to choose consciously and wisely where you’ll spend more of your time.

Take a deep breath. Step back. And ask yourself:

What actually matters to me?

Because when you let go of what doesn’t matter, you create space for more joy, more peace, and more presence.

And that, my friend, is worth so much more than having it all.

Final Thoughts

For a long time, I thought the key to happiness was doing more, finding the perfect balance, maximizing every hour, and squeezing every part of life into a neat, organized schedule.

But the more I tried to have it all, the more I realized I was missing the point.

Motherhood isn’t a puzzle to solve or a challenge to master. It’s a season of life. One that changes, evolves, and asks different things from us at different times.

What worked for me wasn’t about getting better at juggling. It was about putting down the things that didn’t actually matter. It was about choosing, intentionally, where to spend my energy.

And in doing that, I found something I never expected: freedom.

Not the kind of freedom that comes from having it all, but the kind that comes from knowing that I don’t have to.

So if you’re in a place where you feel stretched thin, overwhelmed, and like you’re constantly falling short, maybe the answer isn’t to try harder. Maybe the answer is to choose differently.

Not more.

Not perfect.

Just what matters most to you.

Because when you do that, you don’t just manage motherhood, you actually get to enjoy it.