Why I Decided Not to Do BLW: A Matter of Philosophy and Parental Leadership

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When I started my motherhood journey, one of the first things that caught my attention was the growing popularity of Baby-Led Weaning (BLW). For those unfamiliar, BLW is a method where babies start eating solid foods on their own, skipping purees or mashed foods entirely, from around six months old. At first glance, it seemed like a modern and promising approach. But as I delved deeper into the concept, I realized it went against something very important to me: parental guidance.

It’s not that I’m against autonomy or independence—far from it! But for me, motherhood has always been about leadership. My role as a mother is to guide, teach, and provide security for my child at every stage of development. Feeding shouldn’t be a moment of “figure it out yourself,” but rather an opportunity to teach respect for food and the choices we make as a family.

Parental Leadership: The Core of My Parenting Philosophy

From the moment I knew I was going to be a mother, I felt a deep responsibility to guide my child with the best I could offer. Motherhood, to me, is an ongoing act of leadership—not about control, but about educating with love and respect. I want my child to grow into an independent person, yes, but within a solid foundation that reflects our family’s values.

When I first heard about BLW, I quickly realized it didn’t align with this vision. How could I simply place unfamiliar foods in front of my baby and expect him to figure it out alone? How could I let such a small child take full control of his nutrition without my guidance? Feeding isn’t something babies should navigate at random—it should be introduced thoughtfully, progressively, and with parental involvement.

In our home, food is sacred. My husband hunts and fishes regularly, and all the meat we consume comes from his efforts. Food isn’t something to be treated casually—it has value, and I wanted my child to grow up understanding that. Letting him grab food and toss it on the floor as part of “learning” simply didn’t sit right with me.

The Complexity of BLW: Safety, Time, and Practicality

Another major reason I chose not to follow BLW was its complexity, particularly regarding safety. To do BLW correctly, parents need to understand how to cut foods properly and ensure the right textures to minimize choking risks. Realistically, many mothers—especially those with multiple children or who also work—don’t have the time or energy to research and execute these details meticulously.

Motherhood already comes with a long list of challenges. I didn’t see a reason to turn feeding into yet another overly complicated process. If BLW requires so much effort just to be done safely, how practical is it really? Feeding shouldn’t be stressful or difficult—it should be simple, natural, and ensure my baby’s safety.

On top of that, babies don’t have the discernment to make proper nutritional choices on their own, reinforcing the importance of parental guidance in this process.

A Gradual, Guided, and Intuitive Introduction to Solids

Instead of BLW, I chose a traditional yet intuitive approach to introducing solids. My goal was to ensure a smooth transition that respected my baby’s development while aligning with our family’s values. I started with mashed foods—never blending them, but mashing them to a soft consistency. I introduced one new food per day for about three days to observe his reaction.

Whenever possible, I chose seasonal and locally available fruits and vegetables, prioritizing fresh and accessible foods over exotic or trendy options. This approach also helped my son appreciate what’s naturally available in our region. I didn’t rush to buy every vegetable and fruit imaginable—I simply introduced what we already had at home, foods that were part of our daily routine.

At first, he would make a funny face when trying something new, but by the third day, he was used to it and enjoying it. He never outright rejected any food—he just needed time to adjust. Each new food was introduced with patience and no pressure, allowing him to develop a healthy relationship with different flavors and textures.

Recognizing Hunger Cues and Encouraging Healthy Eating Habits

One thing that made this process stress-free was that I never had to force my baby to eat. When he was full, he would simply turn his head away from the spoon. I clearly remember some meals where he just wasn’t hungry, and instead of pushing him to eat, I’d say, “Fasting is good for the soul sometimes,” and put the food away. There was never any stress around feeding, and he always gained weight at a healthy rate.

Additionally, if he didn’t want to eat what was offered—whether it was rice, beans, or meat—I never replaced it with something more palatable like bread or pasta. The choice was simple: eat what was served or wait until the next snack or meal. I believe this helped establish a strong foundation for mindful eating and appreciation for real food.

Transitioning to Independent Eating

At around nine months, when I noticed he had developed the pincer grasp (which I confirmed after watching him pick things up off the floor and put them in his mouth!), I started offering small bites of food on a fork. He took to it right away! Now, at 12 months, he confidently brings food to his mouth with a fork, though he still needs a little help spearing it. If I don’t give him a fork, he gets frustrated—he already understands that he is ready for this skill. To me, this whole process is proof that he trusted me to guide him, rather than being left to figure it all out alone.

Now, at one year old, he eats everything my husband and I eat, including the wild-caught fish, poultry, and game meat my husband brings home. This transition felt natural because his food introduction was simply an extension of our family meals.

Food as a Cultural and Family Value

My approach to feeding wasn’t just about nutrition—it was about teaching respect for food and culture. Since my husband hunts and fishes, the food on our table carries extra meaning. Teaching my child to respect and value food from an early age was a priority. From the very beginning, he understood that food isn’t a toy and isn’t something to be wasted.

Final Thoughts: Why I Decided Not to Do BLW

To lead is to teach—to guide with love and intention. Just like every other part of motherhood, feeding is an opportunity to teach our children about life, values, and gratitude for what we have.

I’m not saying BLW is “wrong,” but I am saying it didn’t align with my beliefs about raising a child. I want to be a present mother—one who guides, teaches, and nurtures. And for me, feeding was one of the first major milestones where I got to lead with love, ensuring my child’s safety and growth in a way that felt natural and meaningful.