Why Self-Growth as a Mom Looks Nothing Like They Said It Would
A few weeks ago, I watched a YouTube video from a girl who decided she would transform her life in 300 days. She had goals, a plan, a whole “best year ever” mentality, and I loved it. I even mapped out my own 300-day plan. Lose weight. Grow Mompublic. Improve my marriage. Hit financial goals. You name it, I wrote it down.
But then… life happened.
Probably a week after setting all those goals, I might have gotten pregnant. I haven’t even taken a test yet. (So yes, if this turns out to be true, my friends reading this might know before my family or even my husband.)
And today, while feeding lunch to my toddler, I just laughed.
Not because self-development is silly. Not because I think moms shouldn’t try to grow or evolve or get better. Quite the opposite. I believe in growth. But I laughed at my own naïveté, the kind you only recognize in hindsight. Because here’s the truth no one tells you: self-growth as a mom is a completely different journey.
What Is Personal Development Supposed to Look Like?
Before I got married, I could plan a year and follow through (mostly). I had more control. I was 30, single, and in charge of every decision. But now? I share every big decision with someone. Even buying a new playpen sparked debates at home. Not fights, but two adults with strong opinions and limited space trying to make one choice together.
Now imagine trying to plan your whole year with that dynamic in mind. Add in the possibility of a second pregnancy, a toddler, and a family that depends on your income. It’s just… different.
And that’s what hit me:
Self-development for moms is not like self-development for single people.
We don’t live in ideal conditions. We don’t control every variable. And most of our energy goes into serving our homes, our husbands, our babies. Which is why self-growth as a mom isn’t about rigid timelines, it’s about flexibility.
How Do You Self Grow as a Mom?
I’m not saying we shouldn’t have goals. I’m saying they need to align with our season. Because motherhood isn’t just a new role, it redefines your reality.
For example:
- I wanted to lose 20kg. If I’m pregnant, that’s not the focus anymore. My goal shifts to staying active, eating well, and gaining only what’s needed.
- I wanted Mompublic to take off. Now it has to. Not just because I want freedom or flexibility, but because daycare for two isn’t even an option. My remote part-time work won’t be sustainable with two under two.
So everything takes on new weight. This isn’t a hobby. It’s the lifeline.
And it’s funny, when we get real about our limits, we don’t lower the bar. We build smarter systems. We stop romanticizing productivity and start looking for efficiency. That shift is the beginning of self-growth as a mom.
Related posts you might enjoy:
• Redefining Success as a Working Mom: How I Found More Joy
• How Embracing ‘Done is Better Than Perfect’ Transformed My Work-at-Home Productivity
How to Stop Feeling Overwhelmed as a Mom
The truth is, most self-development for moms isn’t about long vision boards or dreamy plans. It’s about:
- Finding a cleaning routine that’s fast and works
- Cooking healthy meals without losing half the day
- Structuring your work to be done in small windows
- Making peace with slow progress
That’s where sanctification happens. Where virtue grows. And where real personal growth takes root. Not in the 300-day vision, but in today. And believe it or not, this ordinary grind? It’s where the deepest self-growth as a mom actually happens.
Is It Selfish to Want Personal Growth as a Mom?
Motherhood grows you because it limits you. It makes you face your pride. It confronts your expectations. And it teaches you to surrender , again and again, without quitting.
Self-growth as a mom isn’t glamorous. But it’s holy.
And that’s more than enough.
